Mini Me vs. Bigger (Brilliant) Me

I know. That title could take us a variety of places. You’ll soon see where I’m going.

Alternate Title:

Cruella Cloudy with a Chance of Sunshine Meets Suzy Sunshine with a Chance of Clouds

or

Who Are You…and What Did You Do with My Rose Colored Glasses?

The past forever (scratch that, three weeks) have been some of the most challenging (scratch that, interesting) in the story of me and my becoming in a long while.

The usual naturally JOYful, centered, clear, aware, in-her-Brilliance-with-a-capital-B has taken a back seat to someone I haven’t seen much of in a very long time.

This visitor was uninvited and her arrival came as quite a shock, to say the least. …and like the occasional visitor that we’ve all had, it seemed as though there was no intended check out date!

Checking In…

What?!? You mean, I’ve got to live with this Mini Me?!? I’ve got to put up with this less-than-all-that-I-AM-me…this not-so-shiny-playing-small-for-no-real-apparent-reason-at-all me?!? What’s up with that?!?

Mini Me is in the House

To be completely honest, I don’t know how I could possibly have managed this intruder (uh, I mean, guest)…except that Mini Me did agree to take frequent down time so that I could still see, feel and touch the Bigger Me…the Brilliant, Joyful, Got-shine! me.

Just ask Mark, my hubby; having Mini Me in the house has been less than a picnic for him, too. However, he’s been the perfect example of “well, that’s your parade…I’ve got my own and you’re not raining on it!” For Abraham fans that’s a good thing.

Mark knows that to leave his Brilliance (his Vortex as Abe calls it) in order to assist another is futile. So from his shiny vantage point, he continues to see me with my shine on (and trust me, that’s not been super easy these days with Mini Me running rampant). He showers love and continues to walk in his light, knowing, *trusting* that eventually (let’s face it, hopefully sooner than later) I’ll meet him in the light.

Out of the Blue~

Some of you may be wondering… So where did Mini Me come from? Why this visit now? (and who gave Mini Me a passport & visiting visa here, anyway?!?) OK…well, I wondered that.

Trust me. I’ve been asking myself these questions, too.

Here’s the tricky part. Knowing what I know… I know that I am responsible for my reality. I create every tiny detail of it. I can not blame anything or anyone outside of me for *making* this happen. I *can* observe certain things that *may* encourage me to dull my own shine and shrink back from my Bigger Me, my Brilliant Me. …knowing full well that if I go there it’s MY choice.

I can tell stories like, I feel like I’ve lost my best friend ‘cause he’s out paddling every (OK, not every) day with his new buds and it’s just so different for me. I can tell stories like, why does he have all the fun while I just sit here taking care of dull details? I can tell stories like, I’m bummed, I don’t feel well, my back hurts, and no one likes me! Waaaaa!!!!
(Oh brother! Is that what I’ve been sounding like?! Sheesh! …and ew. Seriously. Shudders.)

Mini Me in the House!

So here I am as Mini Me. I still have access to Bigger *Brilliant* Me…but I’m keeping her at arms length.
There will be no Suzy Sunshine wearing her Rose Colored Glasses ‘round these parts right now!
OY! Seriously?!?

(Who’s ready to have me admitted? LOL Did you know you were dealing with a crazy??)

Abraham shares stories about Esther and her experience staying out of the Vortex for two whole days straight! *gasp!* Hah! While that’s given me comfort on some levels, two days is nothin’! I’ve got that beat by a landslide.
OK, wait. Am I being too harsh on myself?
Who’s writing this anyway? Mini Me? You’re outta here!

Taking the Bounce~

Truth is I’ve had lots of ‘Bounce’ experiences within these last three weeks. Plenty of moments where I found myself playing small and less than I know myself to be. Plenty of moments where I found myself on the opposite end of my usual spectrum where everything is sunshine and roses. (It’s dark over there! …and kind of creepy.) Thankfully, I was still in touch with the bounce. I knew that when I hit the contrast of the doom and gloom, woe is me experience that it created a provocative bounce to what I really wanted…making that super clear (…even if seemingly out of reach at times, available).

Contrast has been, shall we say, BIG from my perspective (and that’s the only place I can see it from).

From my Brilliance, the world around me is still painted magically delicious! All is WELL. Vibrant, alive, blissful, peaceful, JOYously, perfectly, amazing.

Thank God I can see that!!!

I remember a time when Mini Me was a larger part of my reality, and Bigger Brilliant Shining Me was still a growing part of my reality…unfolding petal by petal like the rose coming into full bloom.

The petals of this rose are in continuous unfolding.  (There are a LOT of petals, I choose when I’m complete…and I can always add more petals. It’s a BIG, beautiful rose.) Mini Me is now like an ant crawling amidst the gorgeousness that I’ve created…that I continue to create.

For what ever reason, I’ve been holding a magnifying glass up to Mini Me…amping her power, giving her more magnification in my experience.

Funny thought: Where was the sun while I was choosing to hold up that magnifying glass? Had I been shining, I’d have fried her!

Too scary? Sorry. Hopefully you can receive the metaphor.

Are You IN or Out?

Abraham also says that most of us live our life experience more out than in, regarding the vortex…or living in our Joy of Brilliance as I like to say.

I’ve had the experience of living more IN than out. And I want that. Always good to know (and be clear about) what we want…creates an ease and flow path right to it. Whew for that, huh?

So has Mini Me left the building? No. Not entirely. And I’m guessing that’s a good thing. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be as aware as I am, I may not be as able to relate to others as I assist and guide them take their bounces and come into their most amazing Joy of Brilliance.

Am I ready to step back into my shine and take my place at the helm of this magnificent journey I continue to embark on? Absolutely!

Will I be gentle with myself if Mini Me slides into the front seat again? I sure hope so.

The Credits!

In my next post, I’ll share a video that came to me via Kelly, a Joy of Brilliance fan and Earth Harmony Home frequent flyer. It was Kelly’s email and link that lit the fire of inspiration for this post. The Bigger Me was SO desiring to write. Mini Me had a lock on the keys.

Thanks to Kelly for being more than she knows in my experience! What a catalyst. Love and Hugs to you, Kelly. All aspects of me are in appreciation of YOU…and your Joy of Brilliance, in this shining moment right now.

Thanks to all of you reading this. Knowingly, or unknowingly…you’re all a part of what makes my desire to shine so great. I love and appreciate each and everyone of you for being here…and for growing in your Joy of Brilliance each and every day.

Joy is the Journey. The destination? Does it matter?
(Ooo…I *like* that! Yup. Juices are flowing. Brilliance engaged. Woo-Hoo!!)

Talk to Me~

Have any of you had any *you* vs. *YOU* experiences lately?

I’d love to hear about them… Always so good to know we’re in good company. LOL

Photo Credit